Transformations (and Honesty)

Please don’t buy the first two “issues” of Blue Daunia if you haven’t done so already!

It’s an ongoing process, this “art” of writing.  Ongoing not only in the sense of the writing itself, but also in the sense of learning.

Two months ago, I thought I had wanted an ongoing monthly serial.  That’s what the Blue Daunia saga was meant, from the outset of inception, to be.  I regaled myself with the starry notion of reviving the old-school dime novel serials, or even of putting the comic book “continuum” thing into text form.

I did not find the schedule of such a task to be overly rigorous… it was, and is, quite possible to maintain and sustain a monthly serial.  So it’s not really the difficulty of the undertaking (as massive as it is) that has recently caused me to change my mind on the format.

And indeed, the format is changing.  I’ve come to realize how daunting a task the marketing of a monthly serial can be.  Here are a couple of the problems:

A)  The Time In-Between:  I mean this from the point of view of the reader, not the writer.  Where a series is concerned, the modern-day audience is trained to digest installments on a weekly basis, as per television… or by binge-digesting the “season”, as per Netflix or Hulu.  True, when I speak of Blue Daunia I am speaking of the written word rather than an audio-visual production, but the modern take on output and consumption has been formed nonetheless.  Furthering this analogy, as I am equating “issues” of a “serial” with “episodes” of a “series”, I would also equate “novels” of an ongoing “saga” with “sequels” of a “movie”: with a series of novels and movies alike, the reader/viewer is content to wait a year or more between larger, novel- or movie-sized chunks.  It is as expected as the weekly interval of episodes of a series.  (This having been said, I will not be making my potential readers wait even that long… I plan on publishing a Blue Daunia novel every 6 months or so, not every year or two).

B)  The Pricing:  I pose a question to those who may be reading this:  When you are seeking out new reading material, would you rather discover a series of novels that piques your interest and pay $4 (give or take) for a novel-sized volume and realize you only missed out on one or two others that  you would have to invest in…. OR… Would you rather discover a serial that piques your interest and realize that, while the current issue is only 99 cents, you’ve already missed 22 issues and would have to invest 22 bucks to catch yourself up, and then realize that it will have to wait a month between each portion?  Or, to put it another way:  if, three years from now, a friend of yours talked up an excellent serial they’ve been reading as something you should really check out, how would you feel when you discover that, having been three years, there are 36 one-dollar issues you would have to invest in just to have to read 720,000 words (roughly 3,600 pages) just to catch up to where your friend is?  The marketing and price-to-volume logistics are troublesome, to say the least.

So, as much as I would love for you to do so, I’m here and now asking you not to invest in the first two “issues” of the Blue Daunia saga available on the Kindle store.  As much as I would love your support and your dollars, I’m going to be honest… as soon as the third chunk of what has turned out to be a three-part story arc is complete (later this month, October 2017), I’m going to release all three parts as the proper First Novel of the Series of Novels it really should have been all along.  For the several dozens who have already invested in the first two issues, I am still going to publish the tail-end as “Issue #3”, as I feel it is only right to do so, rather than to make these loyalists essentially re-purchase the first two issues all over again, just for the sake of being able to read the conclusion of the first story-arc.  But for everyone else, you can (if I may so humbly request you do) pick up the first NOVEL of the Blue Daunia saga, which will be known as Volume One.

From that point on, the series will be handled in novel format, like Fleming’s James Bond or Rowling’s Harry Potter.  The reasons for doing so, much like Problems A and B above, are two-fold:

A)  I’ve jammed myself up with Issue #3 in terms of the length and pacing.  I’ve spent the first two issues building up slowly to the action, and both of the first issues were 20,000+ words.  But now that it’s all set up, the action of the 3rd issue, if so published, would be so lightning-fast compared to the first two as to seem alien to the reader, not only in terms of pacing but also in terms of page-count:  you see, I’ve not much more to say to finish the first tale other than another 10,000 words or less, half or less the length of the first two issues… and could therefore not justify charging the same price (which I will have to do anyway, sadly, as 99 cents is as cheap as Amazon will allow a Kindle book to be).

B)  I won’t feel so confined by a set monthly word-count, and can allow future novels in the series to breathe a bit more, develop at a more natural pace, than trying to time everything out in a monthly 20k-word allotment.  I can develop the characters more thoroughly… add subplots whereas the current telling of the tale focuses on following one specific set of people along one path towards a unified goal.  I can build the world more strongly, vibrantly and dynamically, adding politics and struggles and regimes and rises and falls.  I can even do spin-off novels of certain characters (Redwood and Morlana spring to mind).  And, most importantly to me personally (again being quite honest here), I can explore other much-dreamt-of writing projects in-between, not the least of which is this blog itself (which I have woefully neglected), as well as other non-fantasy novels which have long been brewing in my mind.

To current readers of the series, I apologize for any inconvenience all of this might cause.  As I’ve stated, the 3rd chunk will still be made available separately, so that you don’t have to re-purchase what you’ve already bought by buying the first novel.  But yes, from now on, Blue Daunia will be a series of novels rather than a monthly “comic book in text form”.

Anyways… Cheers!  And Happy Reading and Writing!

The Impact of Images on a Young Mind

“I would study every single frame of the artwork of a man whose name I did not know at the time was Alex Raymond”

When I was a wee-little lad, back in the early 1980s, there was a movie HBO played almost every afternoon and every night, every summer, seemingly all summer long.  The film’s soundtrack featured music by, as I would later learn, a band called Queen. . . a rocking, constantly thumping and completely action-inspiring collection of tunes accompanying a movie known the neighborhood over as Flash Gordon.  Little did I know at so young an age that the film was actually being enjoyed the world over, by countless fans of all ages made hungry for more fantasy sci-fi thanks to Star Wars.

The movie itself was a great watch for a youngster. . . full of action and dramatic conflict and strange creatures and races and even men with hawk wings!  The ages-old story didn’t hurt the film’s popularity either: that classic struggle and triumph of good over evil.  It was fairly clear-cut, but it was also my first taste of conflict on one side of the equation. . . why were the Arboreans acting hostile toward the Hawkmen and vice-versa?  Weren’t they both “good guys” and fighting the same fight?  At the age of 6, I had never seen anything like that before.  I remember being not so much confused as hurt by it, like when friends or parents argue.  Looking back on that now, it’s how I know I was compelled by the story, because I was reacting to the dynamics of fictional conflict.

But as much as I enjoyed the movie, I didn’t have to fast-forward my VHS taped-from-HBO cassette to get to my favorite part.  All I had to do to reach that point was to merely hit PLAY.  Over and over and over again, I would watch Ming the Merciless wreak havoc on earth with his array of “natural disasters” from the control panel in front of him, and I would stress with awe-inspired abandon as General Klytus cackled with glee.  And then the drum beat would start up with its steady, relentless pounding, and the bass-line would kick in to match it, and then. . . oh sweet jeebus!

With every beat of the drums and every nuance of the powerful guitar, I would be bombarded with a steady flow of the most gorgeous comic book imagery I still have ever seen.  And beyond the events of the movie, which I’ve seen a hundred times in my lifetime, I had no context for these images. . . and therein lay the beauty!  An angry general pointing down a vast hallway, Flash pointing a pistol toward the reader, two swords clashing, a tidal wave washing over Flash’s body (so frail and flimsy in the wave despite all his strength), beautiful girls in beautiful gowns and dresses, the faces of Flash and Dale with eyes closed and a caption reading “. . .and knew that real death could not be far off”, hawkmen swooping overhead in organized formation, Flash standing atop a cliff with his cape fluttering out behind him as he overlooked a vast crowd of people in the canyon below, rockets rockets and more rockets, mad scientists mixing devious chemicals in funny-shaped flasks, massive cities towering ever upward with their future-gothic spires. . . and all while someone I did not know was named Freddy Mercury sang out rock-n-roll power followed by softly crooning about the courage of “just a man.”  Pardon my french, but it was goddamned magnificent!

Screen Shot 2017-09-22 at 9.02.44 PM

I wore that old VHS tape out.  Not just from constant screenings of the movie, but from watching, re-winding and re-watching that opening title sequence a thousand times or more.

My main point is the utter lack of context.  The images alone, flashing by (pardon the pun) at such a rate that the blink of an eye would cost the viewer half a dozen drawings or more, was enough to instill in me such an overwhelming sense of adventure and story-telling that I would eventually resort to pressing pause at the beginning and then moving through the sequence frame-by-frame.  I would study every single frame of the artwork of a man whose name I did not know at the time was Alex Raymond.

In adulthood, I have acquired a few volumes of the Raymond Flash Gordon Sunday comics serial, but while reading through them (as I occasionally do), I cannot shake the feeling that it somehow just isn’t the same. . . that it somehow just isn’t as good as what my childhood imagination was conjuring with the images as taken out of context.

And this, to me, is one of the main reasons and inspirations for writing.  You get the chance to tell your story.  You get to pull the imagery from your own mind, the situations you’ve conjured up and built piece by piece from various bits of inspiration all around you, and form it into something you want to make.

I’m not claiming that my writing is better than that of Alex Raymond, nor that the tale of my characters is more compelling than that of Flash and Dale and Zarkov and Ming.  Not by a long-shot.  But what I am saying is that I get to create, every single day if I so desire, worlds and conflicts and armies and characters that are my very own, inspired by as many or as few things as I have ever dared to love or hate or dream, and that’s a pretty powerful feeling to be able to pluck for absolutely free.  Seriously, can you think of any hobby with as low a start-up cost as writing. . . except maybe the hobbies of standing or sitting?

Anyway. . . cheers to Alex Raymond, cheers to Flash Gordon. . . and cheer’s to Queen!

Blue Daunia Issue #2 Now in Paperback

Well, the paperback is now available.  This leg of the story, I guess you might say Act II of a three-act arc, was a labor of love, and while the old adage maintains that you’re not supposed to favor one of your own children over another, I must say, I absolutely adore this issue.  That’s a difficult thing for me to say, too, because despite marketing’s main goal and purpose being to play up the hype and appeal of your product, I’m a bit modest really when it comes to my own work.  But I will allow myself the indulgence of telling you this, with all sincerity:  If you pick up these first two issues (the first one currently being free for two more days on the Kindle store), you might find the first one slow-building, but I firmly believe you will not be disappointed by the end of the second issue.  I really do feel that strongly about it.  I’ve often heard and read the advice “write the book you would like to read”. . . well, Issue #2 is that book.  I’m serious when I say I don’t like to brag, but it’s just such a quick-moving, fun 122-page read!

Speaking of the FREE first issue, here’s the link to that. . . good through the 22nd.  And Here’s the link to the second issue in paperback, as well as the in the Kindle store.

And, just because I wanted a longer post, the following is the introduction from Blue Daunia Issue #2:  The Sinister Sleep of Shevara:

INTRODUCTION

For Christmas of 1992, I got my first word-processor.  I was 17 at the time, and had big plans for that thing, which is fitting, because it was a big thing, literally.  I want to say it was a Smith Corona, but whatever it was, the thing was the size of a small suitcase.  It had a built-in printer, a thin green monochrome calculator-style LCD screen, and a 3.5” floppy drive.  That last one really excited me, you see… because at last I could rack up volumes of my upcoming masterpieces and save them all on such tiny little storage media.

In the weeks leading up to Christmas that year, I could barely contain my excitement, because I already knew I would be getting this thing, and I had worlds to create!  I was very much a fan of comic books back then, and even moreso what they represented to me:  vast universes in which a creative, resourceful individual could create characters both mundane and mystical, and in which the stories of these characters and their interactions with each-other could be told in a continuous series.  (Incidentally, this is the same reason I love Dungeons & Dragons, but I digress).

More than anything else in the world, at that moment, I wanted my own comic book universe, which I could mold and shape and tinker with to my heart’s desire.  But here’s the thing… I cannot, CANNOT, draw.  My stick figures sometimes get mistaken for ampersands, if that tells you anything about my artistic abilities.  So what was I to do?  Well, I could write.  Everyone seemed to say so.  Sometimes, every now and then, they still do!  So that was my angle… I would do a comic book universe in text form, and store every story on those tiny little floppy disks, because surely, those would never, ever get lost or fall prey to the hands of time.

So Christmas rolled around, and I got the gigantic word processor, and I cannot for the life of me think of a single blasted thing I wrote on that thing, except maybe a school essay or book report or some-such.  Oh, and the screen could be tilted upward at different angles to better catch the light, because there was no contrast control… but whenever I would tilt the screen forward, it would ease itself on back down again.  So I did what I had to do:  I got the rifle-like weapon from JetFire of Transformers toy fame and wedged that behind the screen when I lifted it.  That sure learnt it!

So, what am I trying to get at, amidst all this rambling?  No, I’m actually asking you, because I honestly don’t remember.  There was a point at some… point, I’m sure of it.

Oh!  Manufactured universes.  Fast-forward 25 years, and I’ve finally made myself one!  And here it is!

Azaria
An exotic world not unlike our own, but entirely beholden to the mythology, legends, and pantheon forged by the almighty sea. With a myriad of cultures that run the gamut from backwater to highly advanced, Azaria is a world whose sole provider of technology is as secretive as it is powerful, at times competing with the oceanic pantheon itself for ideological supremacy. But there is something else beneath the shimmering surface, deep within the Hadopelagic Zone… waters so deep that all cultures unite in referring to them as “the Blue Hell”… something darkly intangible and unspoken. Could there be a third force, ancient beyond all recorded knowledge, vying for supremacy?

Daunia Bluehaven
In her ongoing quest to investigate the disappearance of the brother she barely knew, her adventures aboard her father’s final ship design would lead her crew all across the coastlands of the world of Azaria.

Set sail with the crew of the Blue Daunia on their harrowing oceanic journeys. The swashbuckling monthly serial continues here. Join Daunia and her crew as they traverse a world of towering cliffs and arctic tundras, dense tropical forests, sweeping mountainscapes, cavernous subterranean depths, marble palaces, gothic spires, dusty libraries and raucous drunken inns. In the life of a freelancer, you never know where your next job might take you, or what odds you might face to get it done.

In this second installment, the crew continue their stay in the port town of Illunstrahd, though far from the recreational stint they hoped it would be. Along the trail to solve a few grisly murders, death seems to haunt their every step. Exhausted and uncertain of their fate, they come at last to the ancient temple of the demi-goddess Shevara.

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Word Count Goal

A thousand words of the saga per day.  That’s the personal, ongoing goal I’ve set for myself in writing the Blue Daunia series.  I usually hit it.  Hell, I actually usually exceed it!  Rare indeed are the days I fail to meet my goal.

I thought today might be one of those rare days.  Spoiler alert:  it wasn’t; I made it.  Exceeded it, actually.  But it was certainly no thanks to my good friend James.

A bit of background:  James is very good when it comes to the technical aspects of computers.  He knows his networking, is fairly proficient in making machines do what he wants them to do, and has even worked for a fairly major networking specialist company.

So anyway, I headed to a famous coffee shop around 6pm, ready to “clock in” and get to work toward my 1,000 word goal.  James would be joining me shortly, as he often does, with his laptop and his big ol’ book on some sort of programming language he’s trying to learn. . . phpBB+ Omega Beta or something (is that a thing?).  I don’t mind his company during my “work” nights, as he’s one of my longest-term friends and a decent fella to bounce ideas off of, and usually keeps to his own studies when I’m trying to lay the hammer down on some text.

At about 6:30, I’ve already gotten 200 words pounded out on my AlphaSmart Neo2 when James saunters in, his trusty laptop bag on his shoulder.  He plunks it down on the table and hits the line to order his drink (I’ve already settled in with my iced black tea with mango).

At 220 words, James is back at the table, pulling the PhpBbPbPBp book and the laptop from the bag.  He goes to hook the power brick to the laptop and plug it into an outlet, when he realizes that the back left part of the black plastic chassis is cracked, and although this is where the brick attaches to the computer, that particular connection still feels firm.  Nonetheless, the little orange charging light won’t light up, and on the screen the little lightning bolt is failing to appear over the tiny image of a battery.

I’m a decently resourceful fellow, so I pinch the chassis firmly together and offer a “now try it.”  No dice.  Not charging.  “Let’s try a different outlet”. . . or two, or hey, five.  It’s a no-go.  This thing has just had it, with the indicator suggesting that there is only an hour and a half of battery life remaining before shutdown (and we all know how that goes).

James whips out his smartphone and quickly checks his checking and savings account levels.  “Son of a bitch,” he says.  “Oh well. . . feel like riding around with me to a few places and shopping for a laptop?”  He has determined that he can afford roughly $400 toward a new one, which he was going to get on Black Friday of this year anyway, as his current machine is over 3 years old (a veritable dinosaur in computer years).

“Sure,” I relent.  So much for my word goal for the day.

We hit Best Buy first.  He likes an Asus and a Dell he sees there, finding the Lenovos to be either too cheap or far too expensive, with no middle ground in evidence.  James is a bit picky when it comes to his laptops, as we all should be, so he wants to shop around.

We hit the interstate for a few miles and head for the area’s ritziest Wal-Mart.  I can practically feel my word goal vaporizing before my very eyes.  If you happen to find yourself at the Wal-Mart at the rich end of Montgomery, Alabama, and you are there for the purpose of searching for a laptop computer, I pray to God you have your heart set on an HP, because that’s exactly what you’re going to find there.  HP, HP, and other HPs.  There was one which seem to fit the bill, but it’s only 7:53, and there’s a Target right down the road.

Oh Target, you silly little creature.  For all your mouses (mice?) and memory cards and gig sticks and styluses and carry cases and screen protectors, you’ve only got two laptops for sale, haven’t you?  The one on clearance with the crushed and open box, and the one you’d have to skip two mortgage payments to purchase.  James reluctantly picks one, though:  the Dell we saw at Best Buy, that very first place we went to. . . the place that was right across the street from the famous coffeehouse.  8:27pm at this point, and Best Buy closes at 9.

Word goal?  What word goal?

We hit Best Buy for the second time at 8:42. . . just enough time for absolutely no one to offer to help us.  I’m going to jump ahead ten minutes here, because it basically amounts to us having to flag someone down with flare guns and whistles.  At 8:59, we’re out the door and heading back across the street.  That particular location of the coffeehouse closes at 10, so that gives us an hour for James to get his new machine set up and running and for me to try to hammer out a few more paragraphs.

Have you ever tried to get some writing done when a clumsy box and scraps of cardboard and twist-ties and plastic bags and pieces of foam of various sizes are bombarding the area within two feet of you?  Try it sometimes!  I humbly invite you to do so.  Or don’t. . . because neither did I!

The new machine is now sitting on the table before us, in all its Dell glory.  The power brick is firmly attached on the PC end.  Time for James to plug it into the outlet.  Nothing.  No orange charging light, no little blue ring around the power button, no magical first-time screen illumination. . . nothing.

It’s at this point that Tevaris, one of our favorite baristas, comes walking over.  “James, man. . . you havin’ any luck with that outlet?”

James:  “No, why?”

Tevaris:  “We think some sort of breaker got tripped.  None of these outlets are workin’.”

James:  “How many of them?”

Tevaris:  “NONE of the front-of-house outlets, man.”

James:  “For how long?”

Tevaris:  “Since this afternoon.”

Alrighty then.  Sometimes you just have to apply palm firmly to forehead, and while I cordially declined to do so, James obliged himself in earnest.

The next part of the plan involved driving BACK over to the ritzy end of town, where the ritzier Target and ritzier Wal-Mart were.  Our destination:  the ritzier famous coffeehouse, this one open until 11pm.  We arrived at 9:30.  James plugged both machines in, and immediately got the orange charging lights on both.  “Damnit” he hissed.

“Had you really rather they were both broken?”  I asked.

“Almost!” he replied.

For the next hour and a half, he fumbled around with setting up his new machine, which he decided he might as well keep, seeing as how he was in need of a new one anyway.  And for the next hour and a half, I hit somewhere in the neighborhood of 1,115 words.

The moral of this little tale:  never count your chickens if you don’t even have an outlet to plug your incubator into. . . or something.  Something about chickens, I’m almost sure of it.

“Don’t get it right, get it written!”

“it is the most inspirational video on the topic I have seen, and I have seen hundreds….”

My mind is numb.  I don’t want to write tonight.  I have an I.V. drip of coffee going just to keep myself awake.  I am tired.  I haven’t touched my 2000 word goal for the day on the Blue Daunia series, and I am actually just a bit loathe to do so.  Not because I don’t love the characters and their quirks and dialects, and not because I am in any way bored with the plot (in fact nothing could be further from the truth).  It’s just a simple matter of the fact that it is now 9pm (in my part of the world) and I have just worked a 10.5 hour day at my “day job.”

I feel drained.  I even had a hell of a time coming up with a topic for this very blog post (but then I figured I’d just write about that and the reasons behind it).

But I will write.  I will strive to hit my word goal for the series.  One thing compels me forward.  One thing wills me on.  And I wish I could say it was some grand notion of the nobility of the sense of duty, or some ultra-powerful work ethic instilled deep within me.  But it’s none of these things.  It’s far more simpler than that.  In fact, it’s something you can gift yourself with as well!  (Don’t worry, I’m not trying to sell ya anything… except my book, but the gift I’m discussing in this particular post is absolutely free!).

Simply put, it is this video:  Don’t Get it Right, Get it Written, from a YouTube channel called Film Courage.  It is aimed primarily at screenplay writers, but the knowledge, wisdom and abounding inspiration applies easily to the narrative prose form, or any writing, for that matter!  If you’re a writer, the first minute and six seconds alone should be enough to kick you into gear, but if that doesn’t get you going, the next two hours and eighteen minutes will pound your brain into submission.

The premise, distilled down to its essence, is a mesmerizing embellishment of the “butt in the chair” principle of writing, as in sit your butt in the chair and get at it!  To that effect, it is also the most inspirational video on the topic I have seen, and I have seen hundreds.  My overall mission for the blog, although I sometimes wander astray, is to help writers along their journeys toward indie publishing, and in that regard I’m here to tell ya, this video is something you absolutely need to watch if you have any struggles whatsoever with self-discipline toward the notion of just getting it done.

The video tackles other topics as well, such as fear of rejection, self-doubt, self-loathing and self-confidence, and the majestic accomplishment of completing a first draft.

Yet the core of the message rings true throughout:  Damn the excuses, damn the doubt, treat this as a job (the best job in the world) and “clock in!”

The channel itself has a plethora of other videos on the topic, which, again, is geared toward screenwriters, but I have yet to hear a single word during any of the interviews that couldn’t apply to any form of writing.  The channel’s other topics, for example, include character, dialogue, story, villains, and emotional impact.  If you are a writer of any sort, I cannot recommend this channel enough.

And if you’re having trouble just plopping yourself down in front of your keyboard or notebook and going at it, this video will take you to that coveted place you mentally need to be.

Playing with Mental Toys: Introduction from Blue Daunia Issue #1

The following is from the Introduction of  Blue Daunia  Issue #1:  Dark Tides of Illunstrahd.  To me, it illustrates the usefulness of flights of childhood fancy as they relate to the ongoing process of the creation of narrative fiction.

By the middle of childhood, somewhere amid the 1980s, I had amassed a sizeable collection of action figures from various movies, cartoons, comics and other genres.  A vast majority are probably still buried somewhere deep within the confines of my old bedroom and its small closet in my childhood home, and without knowing the exact number of the toys, I would comfortably put the estimate at somewhere in the neighborhood of 60 to 80 pieces, possibly more.  The sizes of the figures among the various intellectual properties were largely incompatible: some were just over three inches tall, while others neared the realm of my sister’s Barbies, and they ran the gamut of all sizes in-between.  Some of them only had articulation at the shoulders and hips, while others could be made to assume all manner of action poses for kung-fu goodness.

I had my fair share of neighborhood friends, and a great many hours were spent outdoors, playing the usual range of action-heavy games of make-believe and sports alike.  Metabolisms and imaginations soared sky-high in those days, and yet I was perfectly content at home as well, left to my own whims and flights of fancy at times… and that’s where the action figures got their time in the spotlight of my youth.

I mentioned the varying sizes and intellectual properties of my collection, but I’ll have you know that this never once posed a problem for me, because hardly ever did I see fit to use the figures as part of their intended worlds and stories.  On the contrary, I invented my own worlds and stories, my own universe, in which these beings existed and in which they came to life with all the strengths and flaws and quirks and mannerisms I could bestow upon them.  Sure, Luke and Han were occasionally allowed to be Luke and Han, if that was my momentary whim, but the vast majority of my time spent playing with the figures was spent creating new personas and new worlds.

It’s not that I didn’t love the hell out of the movies and shows and books these figures hailed from.  It’s just that I took these forms of storytelling to heart as lessons just as much as entertainment, if not more so.  Each new struggle on the screen was a lesson in intrigue through character limitations, each unfolding conflict in a comic book was a lesson in dramatic pacing and plot development and revelation, and every episode and issue, whether self-contained or to-be-continued, was a lesson in how to use the episodic structure to enhance continuity, canon, and bit-by-bit worldbuilding.  I took the figures and truly made them my own universe (or two or three), size and shape be damned.  Long story short:  I didn’t just play with action figures, I created with action figures.

And here, decades later, although the figures themselves are long buried and forgotten, I’m still doing it.  That’s what the following pages are.  That’s what they’re all about.  The story you are about to read, and its (hopefully numerous) continuations, are nothing more than a grown man “playing with action figures” in a certain manner of speaking.  I am a writer today not only because of the countless movies, books, television shows and comics I have consumed, but because the resulting toy lines, for all their cash-grabbing reasons for existing, allowed me to consume these properties in the most creative and enjoyable way possible.

My only hope is that you enjoy the result as much as I enjoyed the creation, because I genuinely and thoroughly loved the process… and because it really was just a form of playtime.

First Draft, First Chapter of Untitled Work

Thomas Sowell sat at his desk in the room of his apartment which he called his office, trying to get his word-count achieved for the day.  He called it the “office” because he had to call it that.  If he did not, he would never take it seriously enough to get any work done, and as a self-publishing author, this would prove fatal.  In times past he had called it his “library,” his “playroom,” and “the alcove,” each bearing a different meaning upon his soul at different times of his life.

The room oversat the staircase of the second-story apartment, and was positioned as the front-most area of the dwelling, with a towering, five-foot-wide window overlooking the outside world.  His desk faced the west wall of the room, the balcony above the staircase to his right, and the giant window at his left.

On a hot, breezy mid-afternoon in August, he had the window open so that he could listen to the birds of late summer.  This, he thought, would serve as a form of white noise to help him tackle a few chapters of the science fiction adventure he was attempting… something about a girl on a boat.  Just over an hour into the attempt, however, he allowed his mind to open up to distractions, and, when the TV on his desk was off, his wandering focus usually turned toward the window.

The outside view was nothing spectacular.  The apartment was along the backside of the back-most building of the complex, and the window overlooked, in order: the sidewalk, a grassy knoll, a black chain-link fence, more knoll, a ten-foot drop-off, and the parking lot of the back-most buildings of a completely different apartment complex.  On this particular afternoon, it was something in that neighboring complex which caught his straying attention.

A white mini-van pulled up to one of the apartments, and a girl or woman too far away to be of discernible age hopped out of the driver’s side.  Dressed in pink Capri pants and a sleeveless blue denim shirt, her long blonde hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail.  Based on what he could tell of her general shape and demeanor of motion, she could not have been more than forty nor younger than twenty.

Thomas watched as she opened the rear hatch of the mini-van and pulled out a blue plastic crate of various books and movies from among a few other crates.  With a certain touch of grace which he found himself admiring, she walked around the vehicle and up the three short steps to an apartment door.  He watched to see if she would knock or if she would struggle with the crate to produce keys from her pocket.  She produced keys.  She fumbled with the lock and handle, pushed the door open with her foot, and disappeared behind the self-closing door which did so with a dull thud he could hear even across the distance.

He swiveled his office chair back around to face his computer, and thought a bit about how to get the girl on the boat to escape the clutches of an impending peril facing her crew.  He had just rested his fingertips on their familiar positions along the keyboard when he heard the dull thud again.  The sudden turning of his head toward the window stung his neck a bit.

The girl or woman was back outside, this time with a tiny black and white dog which hopped around not unlike a rabbit.  Whether a chihuahua or a Boston, he could not tell, but he admired the way in which it never seemed to hop very far from her for something without a leash.  It bounded freely, but close to its human, who sat herself down on the front stoop and began thumbing around on her smartphone.  Thomas watched to see if she would call someone, a significant other perhaps, or if she would just keep thumbing as though merely navigating a social app.  She kept thumbing.  The dog-rabbit cocked a leg and relieved itself on a nearby shrub.

He thought about turning once again to his writing, but decided to watch her stand back up and retrieve another plastic crate from her trunk… this one filled with shoes and a couple of hats.  She gave a curt whistle to the doggit, who followed her to and through the self-closing door.  Another dull thud.  If she comes back out, he thought, I’m taking action.  He paused for a moment to wonder what he had even meant by “action.”

He turned to take a shot at a paragraph or two, thought about the leftover Chinese food in the fridge, and resigned himself to make the short trek to the kitchen for at least a can of soda and to start a pot of coffee.  Mid-trek he paused to look at his own tiny dog, asleep on the sofa… a beige chihuahua named Tom Petty, simply because that was the name he had wanted to give her at the time he picked her up as a small pup from the breeder.  Regardless of whether he had picked out a male or a female that day, its name was going to be Tom Petty.

The fridge was disappointingly bare by the time he got to it, which he took harder than normal not only because he lived alone (with Tom Petty and an orange cat), but because he had had the money and opportunity to grocery shop yesterday but had decided to pick up an extra shift at the deli instead.  At least the Chinese food was there for him if he wanted it, which at the time he decided he did not.  For now, a fresh pot of Chock Full O’ Nuts, and a zero soda while it brewed, would suffice.

He made his way back toward the office, putting a hand on Tom Petty along the way to make sure she was still breathing.  Whether she was five or six years of age he could not remember.  He had acquired her with a bit of the severance money he received when he was let go by the bankrupted grocery chain, and could not now remember if it had been five or six years past.  He knew it wasn’t quite time to say goodbye to her, but he also didn’t like to think about the hands of time moving ever forward against her.  For now, she was still breathing.  Lazy as hell, he thought, but still breathing.

Sitting the soda on his desk, he checked the window, running his fingers along the hard, hot mesh of the screen.  No sign of the girl.  Mini-van still there.  The boat, imbedded in the text of the computer screen, still in peril.  He sat.  He typed.  He stopped.  The birds had ceased chirping, just as they had done every day at 3:27 for the past five days, and he had no idea why.  He committed the cardinal writing sin of firing up the browser, but only for the purpose of putting on some Dylan for background music to replace the birds.  If there was anything that could see a girl on a ship safely out of peril, it was Dylan.

Dull thud.  He turned.  She was there, opening the rear hatch again.  Another crate, this time hot pink.  He rose, pulled up the mesh screen, and leaned out beyond the edge.

“Hey!” he yelled.  She looked up.  “Hey!  Need any help?”

She looked left and right. And finally back toward him.  “No, I got it, thanks!” she yelled back.  She started back toward the apartment, leaving the hatch open.  He could see that there were only three more crates remaining, but God knows what all else potentially crammed into the back rows of the van.

“I really don’t mind!” he yelled out.  A couple of dogs began to bark in the distance.

She paused, turned toward him, and put a hand above her brow to block the sunlight.  “I don’t know you!”

“I know!” he yelled.

“We can all hear you!” someone else bellowed.

He scrambled to get his slip-resistant deli shoes on.  They were a bit on the ugly side for social endeavors, but they were slip-ons and made for good get-out-fast shoes.  Tom Petty looked up and tilted her head sideways as Thomas dashed down the stairway and out through the front door.  He scaled the fence, scraping his arm on one of the loose links at the top, and tumbled down onto the grassy knoll.  Surveying the drop-off into the adjoining parking lot, he discerned that it was more seven feet than ten, and hopped down, landing harder than he anticipated and crumpling to the asphalt.  He grabbed his ankle and writhed.

“Oh my God,” he heard the girl say after a gasp.  Seconds later, she was upon him.  “Are you okay?”  She sat the hot pink crate down beside him.

He grimaced and looked up, squinting partly from the pain and partly from the sunlight searing into his brain.  “I’m Thomas,” he grunted.  “Thomas Sowell.  No relation to the economist.  My friends call me Tom.”

“An economist?”

“Yes,” he said, rising to his feet and hopping lightly on one foot.  “But no relation.”

He could see plainly now that she was probably in her late twenties, and a bit more attractive than he initially realized.  She probably had someone.  All the bit more attractive ones usually did.

“I’m Claudia,” she said, looking quizzically upon his hopping.

“Just Claudia?”

“Well, I don’t know who all else I would be.”

“No, I meant your last name.”

“I know what you meant.  I just don’t know who you are.”

“Thomas So–”

“Thomas Sowell, yes… I know.  No relation to an economist.”

“Right.  I was just wondering if you needed any help… with the crates, I mean.”

She glanced over her shoulder back toward the mini-van.  “Look, I don’t mean to come across as rude, but I don’t know you.”

“You’re not a racist, are you?”

She tilted her head, not unlike Tom Petty had done moments ago.  “Uhm… you’re white too.”

“Oh I know,” he said.  “I just don’t marry racists.”

She laughed softly.  “Look, it was nice meeting you.  I guess we’re going to be neighbors.”  She looked up at the concrete wall topped by the grassy knoll, and the fence just beyond it.  “Well, relatively speaking.  But I think I can manage.  The crates, I mean.  I just wanted to make sure you were okay.  You landed kinda hard.”

“I’ll be okay,” he said, extending his hand.  She shook it.

“Anyway, I better get back to it.  I’m expecting the moving company any minute.”  She turned and headed back toward her apartment.

“You didn’t say ‘no’,” he called out to her back.

“Excuse me?”  She paused and turned to look at him again.

“To the marriage proposal.  You didn’t say ‘no’.”

“Right,” she said.  “I’ll get back to you on that.  Have a nice rest of the day.”  She turned and continued her short trek.

“Okay.”  He put a hand up.  She didn’t see it.

He tested the ankle with just a touch of weight.  The pain shot up into his brain, and he suddenly realized that, other than the wall he couldn’t scale and the fence he could no longer climb, he had no idea where the proper entrance to this complex might be, or how far away it was.  The pain subsided for a brief moment by the excitement of her turning back toward him yet again.

“You know,” she said, “you didn’t propose to me.”

“I didn’t?”

“No, you didn’t.  You just said you wouldn’t marry a racist.”

“Damn.  I thought I had nailed that on originality alone.”

“It was original,” she said.

“I’ll get back to you on that.”  He tried to put weight on the tender ankle and scrunched his face up from the shot of agonizing pain.  Not wanting to fall again in front of her, he knelt quickly on his good knee and propped himself on both hands.

“Oh, shit,” she said.  “You’re really hurt, aren’t you?”

He looked up into her eyes.  “I never fake a botched proposal.”  He held her gaze and could almost see her thoughts churning behind the hazel-green eyes.

“Is there someone I can call for you?”

“Good idea.”  He reached into his pocket, putting more weight upon his propping hand.  “I left my phone upstairs.”  He rolled over to a sitting position.

“I could call an ambulance.”

“Don’t bother.  I’ll manage.  You’ve got your work to do.”

“You can’t even walk,” she said.  “Let me at least call an Uber or a taxi or something.”

“My wallet is up there, too.  I don’t want you to have to pay for anything.”

“Oh, I didn’t intend to.”

They sat and stood in silence in the bright sun of the afternoon, neither knowing what more to say.  Every few seconds, he glanced up into her eyes.  Again he could tell that she was deep in thought.  Finally, she broke the silence.

“Come on, I’ll help you to my van.  If I drive you around to your apartment, will you promise me you’ll find a way to the E.R.?”

“I suppose that would be the wise thing to do.  Do you always ask for promises from strangers?”  He rubbed his swelling ankle as gently as he could.  “Or invite them into your van?”

She extended an arm out to him.  “Well, I guess for a moment you can be Thomas Sowell, not the economist, instead of a stranger.”

He grunted as she pulled him up and awkwardly allowed him to lean himself upon her, putting one of his arms around her shoulders.  “And you’re Claudia… just Claudia.”  They hobbled off together toward the van.  “You know, I feel this is the closest we’ve been in quite a while.”

“Who are you?”  She opened the passenger door for him and helped him into the small dog bed on the seat.  “Oh, you’re on the–… nevermind.  I don’t wanna ask you to move again.”

The van smelled like a mix of lilac and lavender.  That girl-car smell, he thought.  He reached a hand to press the eject button on the CD player.  “What are we listening to today?”  He took the CD as it emerged.

“Hey!  Cut it out!”  She popped his arm and made him wince from the sting of it.  “Oh my God, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean for that to be that hard.”

“Boys II Men?  Seriously?”

“What’s wrong with Boys II Men?”  She grabbed the CD from him and put it into its case from the center console, her face turning a shade of red.

“Nothing, I guess.  I just had you pegged for Taylor… for some reason.”

“James or Swift?”  She cranked the van and looked behind her as she backed out.

“Both,” he said.  “Either.”

“Yes to one, no to the other.”  She shifted into first gear and slowly started through the complex.

“Ah,” he said.  “But yes to which?  No to which?”

“You figure it out.”  She shook her hands with the palms still resting on the steering wheel.

“That could take some time.”

They navigated the apartment complex with no music, and in relative silence.  He tried in the meantime to decipher whether it was good or bad that she had had no response to his last comment.

“So where are you moving from?” he asked as they turned onto the public roadway.

“Michigan,” she said.  In one block, they were at the entrance of his complex.

“Michigan?  What brings you all the way to Alabama?”

“Do you have the gate key-card?”

“Sorry, no.”

She let out something between a growl and a sigh, and he tensed at her legitimate impatience.

“Relax,” he said.  The keypad code is 4381-asterix.”

“It’s not you,” she said as she punched in the numbers.  “It’s just been a long day.”  The gate swung slowly open and they rolled through and into the maze of buildings.

“And I’ve added to it,” he said.

“Where are we going?  Tell me the turns.”

“Right, at this next turn.”

“No, you haven’t added to it.  If anything you’ve been a distraction from it.”  She took the turn.  “Totally bizarre, but a distraction.”

“The next two rights and then a left.  That bad a day?  It must be, if all this doesn’t cut it as a low point.”

“Well, Thomas Sowell, it’s not every day a non-economist falls from the sky and breaks his ankle right there in front of you,” she said, following his directions.

“It’s not broken.  That’s–… I think it’s probably not broken.  There’s a good chance.”

“Nah, if it was broken, you’d know.  Believe me, you’d know.”

“You sound like you’re speaking from experience.”

“Oh yes.  Yes indeed.”

“This one,” he said.  “Pull up right here.”

They parked, and she came around to help him out.  He counted himself lucky to again be leaning upon her, his arm draped over her shoulders.  They made their way around the back side of the building to his front door, and he leaned on it and stared at her for a few long seconds.

“Well, this is me,” he said.  “And that’s you.”  He pointed beyond the fence and the drop-off, toward her apartment door.

“Small world,” she said.  “So, you’re good now?”

“Yeah, I’m good.  Listen, I really appreciate it.  Taking the time and all.”  A moving truck pulled up in front of her apartment.

“Least I could do, Thomas Sowell.”  She turned to wave at the truck.  “Hey!  Up here!”

“Did we come to the wrong place?” one of the two men emerging from the truck yelled out.

“No!  I’ll be over in just a minute!”  She turned back to Thomas.  “Let me know how everything turns out, will you… with the ankle.”

“Oh, you bet.  Hey, you never did tell me what brought you all the way from Michigan, Just Claudia.”

“Weston,” she said.  “Claudia Weston.  And that could take some time.”  She smiled faintly and waved as she began to walk off.  He waved back and stood there, leaning on the door, watching her as she walked around the corner.

A handful of seconds turned into a handful of minutes as he watched the white mini-van pull back up in front of its new apartment.  He remained propped long enough to watch her interact with the men from the moving company, and eventually disappear through the door, the dog-like thing bouncing at her feet as she entered.

He smiled to himself, despite the pain in his ankle.  He turned slowly on his good leg and pushed down on the latch of the door, realizing that he had it set to auto-lock upon closing, and that the keys were on his desk.

“Well, fuck.”

KDP Woes Lead to. . . CreateSpace! (Same Company, Different Name and Results)

“If self-publishing were a video game, I would have broken the controller.”

I tried a hopeful experiment today:  uploading a Scrivener-formatted PDF of Blue Daunia Issue #1 to Kindle Direct Publishing (henceforth referred to as KDP), for the purposes of creating a print-on-demand paperback.

Scrivener compiled the text beautifully, as I suspected it would.  The PDF looks quite professional, with every-other page of text shifted to the left of the page and every other page shifted to the right (as to create the “gutter” of the book).  The copyright page looks legitimate, as does the title page, acknowledgements, introduction, etc.

So I headed on over to the KDP website.  The metadata from the Kindle book was intact, and usable for the paperback as well (I really like this aspect of KDP), so the first step was to create a cover.  I’m pleased with the cover for the Kindle edition, but it just so happens that paperbacks also have a back cover as well as a spine!  No worries, though, since KDP has a CreateSpace cover designer for paperbacks as well as ebooks (CreateSpace itself an Amazon derivative).

I experimented with a few of the cover options, using the same awesome image from Donna Chiofolo Photography which the ebook cover incorporates.  I even managed to get the front cover looking fairly identical to the ebook cover.  The back cover was also a breeze to set up.

But the pleasantries end there, and the headaches begin.

Whenever I click on the “Preview” button after designing the cover, it sometimes loads.  It did so the first time.  But I wasn’t quite pleased with a few minor details (one just has to be a perfectionist when it comes to things like this), so I clicked the “X” or whatever they had, rather than hitting Chrome’s “page back” button.  I altered a few things, made some adjustments to the Title font and the font color of the back-cover blurbs, and hit “Preview” again.  I got the “loading” spinny-wheel for about three minutes.

I don’t have the patience for that sort of nonsense, but I didn’t want to mess anything up, so I waited.  Finally, after another three minutes (now a total of six), I got to see my preview.  I still wasn’t quite happy with a couple of minor quibbles.  So I Xed again, made the adjustments, hit “Preview” again. . . and an infinity of spinny-wheel ensued.  After a cup of coffee and a few YouTube videos, fifteen minutes had elapsed.  Spinny-wheel kept on spinning.  I felt I had no choice but to hit Chrome’s “back” arrow.

It went back to the cover editor fair enough, but damn if it didn’t take four or five tries to get a “Preview” back up on the screen again.  I know when it’s happening correctly because the correct procedure seems to only take roughly 15 seconds.

After the frustration of all of that, my cover was finally “Successfully Uploaded.”  Yay!  Next step, uploading the PDF file.  That was a breeze. . . sort-of.  Yes and no.  Ultimately no.  Let me explain.  No. . . no time to ‘splain.  Lemme sum up.

The uploading of the PDF file took all of 4 seconds, which seems about right.  Now, on the KDP website, once you’ve uploaded a file as the body of text for your paperback or your ebook, you get the same message below the “success” blurb:  “Formatting the File.  Your Preview Will Be Ready For Viewing Once We’ve Processed the File.”  Or something along those lines.  The idea being that the program they use gets everything converted and then you get to take a look and see what it will look like to your customers before you finally click that “submit” button.

For the Kindle ebook, this process of formatting took about a minute to a minute and a half.  Excellent. . . good on ya!  For a paperback, this takes understandably longer as you’re dealing with various selectable trim sizes which you must ensure match the trim size of the compiled PDF, and other technical things I as a writer don’t like to worry over as well.

But when you’re waiting for over an hour. . . and you spend that eternity googling whatever search terms you can think of to see if it should be taking this long, and you’re sifting through forums and you find one in a hundred where someone else has had the same problem. . . the blood tends to boil just a bit.

Now take that boiling blood frustration and add this little gem to the equation:  Finally, finally, the website says something different, other than the spinny-wheel of waiting.  And what does it say?  Why, “An Error Occurred During the Formatting Process, Please See Error Message For Details” of course!  Because why not?

And what exactly did the error message say?  Whatever it was, I could fix it.  I could go back into Scrivener and make any adjustments necessary, and have a new PDF within 5 to 10 minutes tops (5 seconds if you just count Scrivener churning out a compiled PDF. . . the added time is on me, as a user, making the adjustments).

This is what the error message said:  “Error.”  That’s it.  Just “Error.”  No buttons to click, no tiny little down-arrow to hover over. . . just “Error.”  What. . . the. . . .

Hey!  Ya know what, I’m a fairly upbeat guy when it comes to things like this (he lied).  And I’ve got nothing to do for the next few hours.  I’m gonna look over the PDF as well as all the Scrivener formatting tabs, compile a new PDF just for the halibut, and try this again.

Two. . . Hours. . . Later….

“Error.”

Okay.  It was a bad night to be a nearby blanket on the couch.  I picked that blanket up and stuffed it over my pie-hole and still screamed loud enough to get a few neighborhood dogs barking.  If self publishing were a video game, I would have broken the controller.

To be quite fair (and this is where I try to turn this post around, and hope that you as a reader will join me in not hating KDP), the “paperback” aspect of KDP. . . that whole side of it. . . is still in “beta” mode at the moment.  Granted, it has been there for nearly a year if not longer, but it is still openly a testing-stages thingamajig.

Amazon also owns CreateSpace, which, if you haven’t heard of, then you probably haven’t dreamed the airy dreams of self-publishing.  CreateSpace is known for it’s quality print-on-demand paperbacks.

I remembered this, suddenly, foolishly, dawningly (I just invented a word!), and I went there, to that mighty CreateSpace, and things seem to be going much better now.

It’s still a work-in-progress, because they have actual flesh and blood human-peoples looking over your PDF or whatnot, making sure everything is good to go, and tell you flat-out (or up-front, or other hyphenated words that sound immediate and open) that they will review your stuffs and respond to you within 24 hours during a business week.

Long story short (as if I haven’t surpassed that point in this post already), it looks like my dreams of holding a book I wrote in my hands. . . an actual paperback book with a barcode and a spine. . . might be coming true within a few days.

The moral of this lesson is as such:  If you have an ebook, and want a legitimate paperback copy of said ebook, go to CreateSpace, and not KDP (which is supposedly powered by. . . CreateSpace, which is owned by Amazon, who owns KDP. . . or something).